SPECIAL REPORT
How To Prove Beyond
Any Shadow Of A Doubt
That You Are NOT
A Procrastinator!
That You Are NOT
A Procrastinator!
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Have you been accused of procrastination?
Of course you have. Here's what "they" say:
“You're A Procrastinator!”
Are these accusations harming your personal or business life? Of course they are.
Finally, here's the relief you've always wanted but never knew how to get. You Must Read Every Word Of This Special Report! Now, with this simple act, this once-in-lifetime opportunity, you can put the naysayers of your life in their place. Procrastinators Anonymous Has Arrived To Your Rescue!
Finally, after 24 years of thinking about it, talking about it and with absolutely no research, the founders of Procrastinators Anonymous have begun this oh, so important organization. Just for you . . . well, for us too. You can now offer third-party, physical and irrefutable proof to others who may have doubted you . . . or who will doubt you in the future; and you know they will; that you are NOT a procrastinator! You are so not alone So many of us have been accused, with no way to refute these nasty charges . . . until now.
Even an extra 20-minute nap was not enough to cover the pain of these accusations. Now you can prove with absolute certainty that you are NOT a procrastinator! How? Simply join Procrastinators Anonymous - Right now! Why? Because no self-disrespecting procrastinator is going to join anything, let alone this organization! It's a miracle that it ever even got started! Sure, a procrastinator might make a note to join, but they won't. Only someone who has suddenly seen the light and is ready for action will actually join Procrastinators Anonymous. And that, my friend, means that you are NOT a procrastinator! (at least not at this moment) Yes, you will have actual, certifiable proof for anyone who has ever, or will ever accuse you of procrastinating at anything. Prove It To The World Your very membership will be proof positive! You couldn't possibly be a procrastinator. If you were, you wouldn't be joining anything. The very act of joining proves you've been cured! (You're welcome!) But Wait - There's More! We'll help you prove it too.
When you join Procrastinators Anonymous, here's what you will receive: (INSERT MEMBERSHIP GRAPHIC)
And anyone else you choose - Remember, just
having this membership certificate will be proof that you are NOT a
procrastinator.
Just show them your authentic certificate of membership - It's that simple!  You can attach it to a resume Post it on the web Make copies and leave them laying around client's offices or any other place you like Show it proudly to your children to motivate them to clean their rooms - Get them one too! You Will Be Terminated (This is a good thing) Once your application is reviewed by our Bored Directors, you will be terminated. Why? Because it will be clear that with our help, you are now cured or you wouldn't have joined . . . yet. So, despite your certification on your membership application that you are a procrastinator, you clearly are not, or could not have been when you joined. Just imagine, this is one time that being kicked out of a club is actually a good thing!
Why? Because you will now have double proof to show the aforementioned parties; your letter of termination - also suitable for printing on the printer of your choice AND your original Procrastinators Anonymous Membership Certificate! But Wait, There's More! WARNING: this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is open ONLY to the first 1,987,000 members and then we will close the doors forever! So, procrastinate no more and JOIN NOW! Remember, our success will be your success. You will be joining the ranks of other to-be-terminated Procrastinators Anonymous members. The proof of our mutual assistance will be a membership organization, devoid of active members. Is This A First, Or What? Just imagine: For the first time in history, a meeting where no one actually shows up will be the true sign of success!  A full coffee pot and no one to drink it - A sign of success! An outside entrance devoid of chain-smoking, pacing people - A sign of success! No bothersome phone calls from or to sponsors - A sign of success! Only 1-step not 12! Is This A Great Idea, Or What? If you haven't already clicked on the JOIN NOW button, you may truly be what you've been accused of, A PROCRASTINATOR, with no way to disprove it. Remember, if you are too late, even if you are just the one million, nine hundred and ninety eighth applicant, you will be REFUSED MEMBERSHIP. So, why wait, don't procrastinate (again), your procrastination days are over (at least according to your paperwork). Remember, you will have your Certificate of Membership within minutes of your application. Then, the Bored Directors will issue your Termination Letter within 24 hours. So, just imagine, by this time tomorrow, lie on the couch, relax in a spa, or just take it easy. No one will be able to call YOU a procrastinator; you'll have the paper to prove they're all wrong if they even hint at such an accusation again! Research Others Through Gifts Do you have business associates or employees who you suspect of procrastination? If you do, you can prove it one way or another. You can gift them with a special discounted (if ordered in multiples - please see discounts on your Thank You Page) Procrastinators Anonymous gift link. If they fill it out and send it in, you will get the notice. If not, you will have PROOF positive that they are indeed a procrastinator, and you can help them get help. Test employees and business associates by giving them a gift certificate. If they don't join, your accusations against them will be proven correct. If you're not sure if someone is a procrastinator, give them a certificate too. If you aren't notified that they've used it, you will know for certain they are, in fact, a procrastinator! Just think, if they don't use their certificate, you'll be able to hold this over their heads for life! Either way, your gift will be well spent. Oh, and it's really the ideal lazy way to send a gift at any special time of year, but we won't mention that part. The Most Unique Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanzaa Gift Of All. And what about New Years? Imagine, you could be the force that stimulates your friends, family, business associates, and even yourself, to realize their procrastination and make huge changes for their own betterment. Imagine, if only one more person who made a New Year's Resolution and actually kept it, all because of you! Who Else Does That? Or, just be happy the whole thing took you two minutes to send a really unusual gift and just leave it at that. Let's face it, could there ever be a more unique gift to give during the Holiday Season? Of course not! Not only will you be the holder of the most unique membership and termination notice since the Boxer Rebellion, you will now be able to give the most memorable gift of all, a membership to Procrastinators Anonymous. Who Else Has That? Enough already! Let's finish this up. NOTE: Only current or past members (or anyone else) may purchase gift certificates, which will be at a significant discount in multiples. Once you join, you will receive a link for these discounted gift memberships. And guess what, just the act of sending these gift certificates is just further proof that YOU are no Procrastinator. Unless you fail to join right now! But Wait, There's . . . Nope, guess not. Just this legal stuff. Besides, what the heck are you waiting for? TERMS – Read This! (You'll be sorry if you don't)
You must be a certified procrastinator to remain with Procrastinators Anonymous. Each membership will be reviewed by our Bored Director(s). All non-procrastinators will be terminated for cause as stated herein. Membership registration is non-refundable, but shall be the only cost incurred by the registrant, except for designated gift certificates that he/she may choose to order, which is also non-refundable. All gift certificates or any purchases to Procrastinators Anonymous, or their associated companies, businesses or associates shall not be liable for any membership refunds under any circumstances. All are non-refundable. Even though we could offer a 90-year guarantee, most of our former members would never get around to asking for it anyway. But we're not taking any chances! Core level marketing, Inc., its officers, associates and allied companies shall be held harmless for all liabilities, including the return of the member (or former member) for any procrastinator type relapse. No medical or psychological diagnosis is to be inferred from any of our special reports, writing, promotions, online seminars or functions of any kind. If you feel that you are a sick puppy, you must seek medical or psychological help from a certified practitioner or veterinarian. You'll probably run into one of us in the waiting room anyway. This is serious business and we feel, but can't guarantee, that if we save just one person from the wrath of a mother-in-law, we have a reason to live. All titles, trademarks, copyrights,
corporate or promotional marks shall be the property according to
international convention, of Core Level Marketing, Inc. or their
assigns. This membership is open to vegetarians and carnivores alike.
No animals were harmed during the research or lack of research for this
project. But we did eat some steaks. Send A Friend - Tell The World About This Site - That's even further proof that YOU are NO Procrastinator! www.procrastinatorsanon.com (who can spell anonymous?) | |
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I Have Read and Understand the terms as set forth above.